How Autism Teaches Us About Fatherhood: Insights with Dr. Robert Naseef

I had a great conversation with Kenneth Braswell about fatherhood and autism and came away deeply appreciative of all the work he does with and for dads. Kenneth remarked, “Parenting a child with autism challenges every part of your heart—and strengthens it.” I shared my lived experiences and insights about resilience, acceptance, and the unique role of fathers in raising autistic children. In this powerful episode of “I Am Dad Podcast”, Kenneth Braswell explored how autism impacts family life, what fathers uniquely bring to the parenting journey, and how acceptance and resilience grow hand-in-hand. Through his probing questions, I was able to draw from the 4 decades since my son,Tariq, was dignosed. I reflected upon personal and professional experience—as a psychologist and a father. None of this advice and emotional wisdom came easily for families walking this path.

Our conversation was honest, hopeful, and deeply human. In a broad sense, Autism has a lot to teach us abiut fatherhood as Kenneth captioned this conversation. I am grateful for the time spent with Kenneth Braswell, and I hope that our paths will pass again.

Autism, ADHD and AuDHD: Understanding the Overlap

AuDHD is an unofficial term that describes a person who has both autism and previously diagnosed attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Both diagnoses can affect a person's behavior, social interaction, and communication. Research indicates that 50% to 70% of autistic individuals also meet the criteria for ADHD, and an estimated 20% to 50% of people with ADHD also meet criteria for autism. The symptoms overlap to some extent.

Venn diagram of overlapping autism and ADHD

The symptoms overlap to some extent, and this graphic from https://www.neurodiversecouplescounseling.com/audhd shows how not all of some individuals challenges can be explained by ADHD or other diagnoses such as anxiety.

Having the characteristics of both ASD and ADHD has its challenges and can be quite overwhelming due to many conflicting needs which can feel like an internal battle. The autistic brain has a need for planning, sticking to routine, hyper-fixating, and needing information. The ADHD brain has the characteristics of a need for impulsiveness, desire for change, difficulty in focusing, and forgetting information.

The awareness and understanding of how these diagnoses impact an individual’s ability to communicate and interact with other people is an important factor in facilitating growth and development. Challenges with depression and anxiety frequently co-occur with autism in children and adults with autism, especially in cases of late diagnosis. It is important to note that longitudinal studies of autistic adults have indicated that whenever and wherever autism is diagnosed continued growth and development are possible through the life span.

Autism Community Faces Crisis and Opportunity

Lots of folks are asking me how I react and process react RFK’s press conference and plans to address the increasing incidence of autism, especially with huge cuts in Medicaid looming. This may sound off base, but I see something very positive going on. Check out the April 17th statement from the Autism Self Advocacy Network. This is the first time in my 4 decades of experience in the autism community in which all of the major organizations and many others have come together. Let’s all watch closely for what action steps emerge from this amazing coalition.

Wise people have said that in crisis there is opportunity.

Here is the full statement from the Autism Self Advocacy Network:

April 17, 2025, Washington, D.C. – As national organizations dedicated to advancing the well-being of Autistic individuals, the Autistic Self Advocacy Network, Autism Society of America, Autism Speaks, The Arc of the United States, Autistic Women and Non-Binary Network, Autistic People of Color Fund, and partners across the disability and public health sectors stand united in our call for science-based decision-making and increased investment in the research, programs and services the Autism community needs to live fully.

While our organizations reflect a broad range of perspectives and experiences, we are aligned in the following principles:

• Vaccines Do Not Cause Autism. Decades of scientific research confirm there is no causal link. Public health messaging must be grounded in science and protect all communities.

• Autistic Individuals Deserve Respect and Support. Public dialogue and policy must reflect the inherent value, rights, and diverse needs of Autistic people.

• Evidence-Based Policy Is Essential. We call on policymakers to work in collaboration with Autistic individuals, families, researchers, clinicians, and disability organizations to ensure policy is grounded in science and responsive to community needs.

We are deeply concerned by growing public rhetoric and policy decisions that challenge these shared principles. Claims that Autism is “preventable” is not supported by scientific consensus and perpetuate stigma. Language framing Autism as a “chronic disease,” a “childhood disease” or “epidemic” distorts public understanding and undermines respect for Autistic people.

At the same time, federal proposals to reduce funding for programs like Medicaid, the Department of Education, and the Administration for Community Living threaten the very services that Autistic individuals and their families rely on. Research must be guided by credentialed experts and inclusive of the complexity and diversity of the lived experiences of the Autism community—not redirected by misinformation or ideology. As leaders in the fields of Autism and public health, we are committed to contributing meaningfully to the ongoing dialogue and initiatives led by HHS.

We urge public leaders, institutions, and media to uphold scientific integrity and work together to strengthen—not weaken—the infrastructure of support for the entire Autism community.

Signed By:
Autistic Self Advocacy Network, Colin Killick, Executive Director
Autism Society of America, Christopher Banks, President and CEO
Autism Speaks, Keith Wargo, President and CEO
The Arc of the United States, Katy Neas, Chief Executive Officer
Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network, Sharon daVanport, Executive Director
Autistic People of Color Fund, Ly Xīnzhèn Zhǎngsūn Brown, Founding Executive Director
Autism Empowerment, Karen Krejcha, Co-Founder, Executive Director
Dan Marino Foundation, Mary Partin, CEO
Pivot Neurodiversity
Association for Autism and Neurodiversity
Organization for Autism Research
Els for Autism
Autistic Doctors International
Hussman Institute for Autism

Full List of Endorsing Organizations (Rolling Sign On):
American Association of People with Disabilities
Association of University Centers on Disabilities
National Association of Councils on Developmental Disabilities
TASH
Allies for Independence
Institute for Exceptional Care
Disability Rights Education and Defense Fund (DREDF)
American Association on Health and Disability
Lakeshore Foundation
National Health Law Program
Family Voices National
National Down Syndrome Congress
Bazelon Center for Mental Health Law
American Network of Community Options and Resources (ANCOR)
Epilepsy Foundation
The Center for Learner Equity
Self-Advocates Becoming Empowered
Caring Across Generations
SPAN Parent Advocacy Network (SPAN)
National Disability Rights Network
American Music Therapy Association
Access Ready Inc
Mission Alpha Advocacy
Center for Public Representation
Division for Early Childhood of the Council for Exceptional Children
The Kelsey
The National Alliance to Advance Adolescent Health
American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry
International Council on Development and Learning
Applied Self-Direction
Association of Programs for Rural Independent Living (APRIL)

Understanding How Politics Impacts Autistic Lives

When our fathers group at the met over Zoom on November 16th, our heads were still reeling from the impact of the presidential election results. We asked the group to think about how the election results might change how we parent our children. Here's a summary of how fathers responded:

• Our son who is in college was extremely worried about his future. We assured him that he lives in a blue state and that as his parents they will make sure he is protected.

• With two young children with IEPs, the Department of Education being gutted gives us a lot of distress. Our children are marginalized and will be impacted like all kinds of marginalized people.

• With two autistic children and myself recently diagnosed, I am still processing what has happened.

• With a 5-year-old son just diagnosed in June, the impact on his IEP has me concerned. I hope Elon Musk uses his platform to advocate for children with autism.

• With a 32-year-old son living in a group home funded by Medicaid, one father tried to sound a cautiously optimistic tone. With Washington’s history of gridlock the best we can hope for is that nothing will change. With a good chance of gridlock, we won't make progress, so maybe we will be OK with gridlock.

• Having a 5-year-old autistic child, it's not sinking in yet. He's asking a lot of questions which force us to have conversations that you never thought you would have to have with a child.

• From a religious or moral perspective, these election results have informed us to be kind to people who aren't particularly kind to you. Their position on disabilities is plain as day, but nonetheless we must respond with kindness.

•  A nine-year-old daughter is asking questions like, “why are these people not nice?” We try to stay in the present despite the real fear of what could happen. We try to stay grounded in what's happening right now and hope for gridlock in a government that's not good at doing much. Maybe humanity can find some path through this.

• A community organizer, who is an immigration lawyer, expressed a deep grief for immigrants. Bringing joy and love to his children is what he can do as he keeps showing up to organize.

• Our children have a unique ability to sense things when we are in conflict and distressed. It can come out in behavior during this sensitive time in our journey. What our children sense and how we communicate is vital.

• My 10-year-old nonspeaking son is pretty oblivious because he is not impacted by elections and political stress. I've stopped watching the news because it creates too much anxiety. There's no more middle ground; you just can't talk about it.

• Just focusing on controlling the controllables was the perspective of a father who has friends in both parties. He works with advocacy groups and reflected that nothing was ever easy with any administration for his young adult daughter.

• Another election lawyer in the group felt really thrown by the results and is trying to focus on how to resist the rise of fascism which he wasn't thinking about in terms of impact on folks with autism. His wife is interested in moving to another country where she and their children will feel safer.

• My nonspeaking son is Black and lives in a group home. His staff is Black, so how can they all be safe?! He himself is innocent; war, racism, sexism, and fascism don't register. He's not worried, but I am.

• How can we stay informed without getting overwhelmed? Do we just need Xanax to stay plugged in without getting irate or depressed?

• Appreciation was expressed for being able to talk and connect in a peaceful way in our zoom room. Turning off news or doom scrolling feels disconnected, but we are connected here in this group.

• Just thinking about my 18-year-old son and his ISP has me on the edge of my seat. I have to stay connected, and I pride myself on being informed.

• Another father who is also a psychologist expressed that he is panicked and hasn't been able to sleep restfully. He is  concerned for his clients as well as his neurodivergent and marginalized kids. He's been on a media fast and is afraid of being set back 50 years in disability rights.

• A European immigrant father spoke up and shared he has noticed so many nice people here in the US. He does service work in Alcoholics Anonymous with people that have problems. When he sees the results of being kind to others, he has faith that we will get through this as he expressed the same fears as the rest of the group.

• A father of 7-year-old twin girls shared that every day has been hard, but he hadn't realized so many others here would have the same fears, and he expressed gratitude for this community.

• The father of a 7-year-old sees his job to protect and prepare his children for the world that wouldn't love them. The election didn't change anything, and raising Black boys in America may even be more challenging now because he does not know what is coming. He does know his job, and he shares joy and laughter with his children and shows love to his family and friends, which is what he can do.

• A father who is very engaged in advocacy at the state level shared how their group is both Democratic and Republican. At their last meeting half were happy and half were unhappy, but they realized that they still needed to work together. He called this the elephant in the room and pointed out that everyone still has the same purpose and responsibilities whether we are happy, sad, or scared about the election results.

Acknowledging the spectrum of emotions has been quite jarring. Our kids are already vulnerable by the able-bodied bias in our world. At times like these, they become more vulnerable especially those who are Queer, Non-binary, Black, or Latinx. There's little doubt these will be challenging times, but this is a time to cast a light on justice and humanity. We will stay true to ourselves and our families. That's who we need to be.

We're just regular fathers of wonderful kids (and adults); they need our advocacy. They needed it before, and they need it now more than ever. The so-called red states have the same percentages of people with disabilities, so it's not crazy to have hope that there will be resistance and change. People like us can help others because we are engaged and in community. Stay with us and we will go forward because we will not give up. We will not concede the lives and wellbeing of our children and families. It's not easy to live with these fears, but together we can stare them down and do our best, one day at a time.

In peace and solidarity,

Robert Naseef and Michael Hannon